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  • How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 12 Simple Habits by HENRIK EDBERG

    What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

    I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

    They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier than it actually is. They overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

    Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

    Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

     

    I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

    But in the past 10 years or so I’ve learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do to overcome it.

    In this article I’d like to share 12 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

    1. Put things into a wider perspective.

    It’s very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

    So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

    Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

    I’ve found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can quickly snap me out of overthinking and help me to let go of that situation. And to focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

    2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

    If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

    So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it’s a small or bigger decision.

    Here’s what has worked for me:

    • For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
    • For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

    3. Stop setting your day up for stress and overthinking.

    You can’t totally avoid overwhelming or very stressful days.

    But you can minimize the number of them in your month and year by getting a good start to your day and by not setting yourself up for unnecessary stress, overthinking and suffering.

    Three things that help me with that are:

    • Get a good start. I’ve mentioned this many times by now. And with good reason. Because how you start your day tends to often set the tone for your day. A stressed morning leads to stressed day. Consuming negative information as you ride the bus to your job tends to lead to more pessimistic thoughts during the rest of your day. While for example reading something uplifting over breakfast, getting some exercise and then getting started with your most important task right now sets a good tone for the day.
    • Single-task and take regular breaks. This will help you to keep a sharp focus during your day and to get what’s most important done while also allowing you to rest and recharge so you don’t start to run on fumes. And this somewhat relaxed mindset but with the narrow focus will help you to think clearly and decisively and avoid winding up in a stressed and overthinking headspace.
    • Minimize your daily input. Too much information, too many times of just taking a few minutes to check your inbox, Facebook or Twitter account leads to more input and clutter in your mind as your day progresses. And so it becomes harder to think in a simple and clear way and easier to lapse back into that familiar overthinking habit.

    4. Become a person of action.

    When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

    Setting deadlines and a good tone for the day are two things that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

    Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

    It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

    5. Realize that you cannot control everything.

    Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you don’t risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

    But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

    But in most cases they’ve also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

    So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

    This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

    6. Say stop in a situation where you know you cannot think straight.

    Sometimes when I’m hungry or when I’m lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

    In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I’ve become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

    No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

    I know that when I’m hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

    So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

    For example, after I’ve eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

    It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I’ve gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

    And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

    7. Don’t get lost in vague fears.

    Another trap I’ve fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I’ve gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

    So I’ve learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

    And when I’ve figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

    I’ve found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

    Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

    8. Work out.

    This might sound a bit odd.

    But working out can really help with letting go of inner tensions and worries.

    It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

    9. Get plenty of good quality sleep.

    I think this is one of the most commonly neglected factors when it comes to keeping a positive mindset and not get lost in negative thought habits.

    Because when you haven’t slept enough then you become more vulnerable.

    Vulnerable to worrying and pessimism. To not thinking as clearly as you usually do. And to getting lost in thoughts going around and around in your mind as you overthink.

    So let me share a couple of my favorite tips that help me to sleep better:

    • Keep it cool. It can feel nice at first to get into a warm bedroom. But I’ve found that I sleep better and more calmly with fewer scary or negative dreams if I keep the bedroom cool.
    • Keep the earplugs nearby. If you, like me, are easily awoken by noises then a pair simple earplugs can be a life-saver. These inexpensive items have helped me to get a good night’s sleep and sleep through snorers, noisy cats and other disturbances more times than I can remember.
    • Don’t try to force yourself to go to sleep. If you don’t feel sleepy then don’t get into bed and try to force yourself to go to sleep. That, at least in my experience, only leads to tossing and turning in my bed for an hour or more. A better solution in these situations is to wind down for an extra 20-30 minutes on the couch with, for example, some reading. This helps me to go to sleep faster and, in the end, get more sleep.

    10. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

    By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

    Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:

    • Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
    • Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
    • Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

    11. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

    Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

    So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

    Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and input that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

    12. Be aware of the issue (and remind yourself throughout your day)

    Being aware of your challenge is important to break the habit of overthinking.

    But if you’re thinking that you’ll just remember to stop overthinking during your normal day then you’re likely just fooling yourself.

    At least if you’re anything like me.

    Because I needed help. It wasn’t hard to get it though. I just created a few reminders.

    My main one was a note on the whiteboard I had on one of my walls at the time. It said “Keep things extremely simple”. Seeing this many times during my day helped me to snap out of overthinking faster and to over time greatly minimize this negative habit.

    Two other kinds of reminders that you can use are:

    • A small written note. Simply use a post-it note or something similar and write down my whiteboard phrase, a question like “Am I overcomplicating this?” or some other reminder that appeals to you. Put that note where you cannot avoid seeing it like for example on your bedside table, your bathroom mirror or beside your computer screen.
    • A reminder on your smart phone. Write down one of the phrases above or one of you own choosing in a reminder app on your smart phone.

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  • 3 Most Powerful Words for Manifesting Your Dreams

    Words have the power to help you or stop you from manifesting your dreams. It doesn’t matter whether you say the words out loud or simply speak them in your mind.

    There are three words that, when you use them, have the ability to manifest anything you speak or think about. These three words shape your life. When you learn how to use them, you control your destiny.

    The three most powerful words for manifesting your dreams are “don't,” “not,” and “no.”

     

    Whenever you use these words, the Universe is unable to hear them. Whenever you tell yourself that you don't want something to happen, such as “I don't want to struggle financially,” the Universe is unable to hear the “don't.” All it hears is, “I want to struggle financially.” It thinks that’s what you want to happen.

    If you want to know what you have been telling the Universe, look at your life. If you want to know what you've been telling it about money, look in your wallet. If you want to know what you've been saying about your love life, look at your relationships.

    The words “don't,” “not,” and “no” crop up all the time in your every day speech and thoughts.

    “Don't slam the door.”

    “Don't be late.”

    “I'm not going to eat that.”

    And what happens whenever you say them? Invariably, someone slams the door, is late, or you eat something that you think you shouldn't.

    The words “don't,” “not,” and “no” are like a command that produces the very thing you are trying to prevent from happening.

    Whenever you catch yourself saying “don't,” “not,” or “no,” ask yourself, “What do I want?”

    If you make sure to pay attention to your thoughts and words…and only focus on what you really want, in no time it’ll happen.

     

     

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  • 21 Success Tips for Young and Aspiring Entrepreneurs

     

    Being successful often means learning from those who have already achieved their goals. Having a mentor is an amazing blessing to an entrepreneur, but not everyone can find one in person.

    If you haven’t yet found your personal business guru, here are 21 tips for young or aspiring entrepreneur to help get you started.

    1. Challenge yourself. 

    Richard Branson says his biggest motivation is to keep challenging himself. He treats life like one long university education, where he can learn more every day. You can too!

    2. Do work you care about. 

    There’s no doubt that running a business take a lot of time. Steve Jobs noted that the only way to be satisfied in your life is to do work that you truly believe in.

    3. Take the risk. 

    We never know the outcome of our efforts unless we actually do it. Jeff Bezos said it helped to know that he wouldn’t regret failure, but he would regret not trying.

    4. Believe in yourself.

    As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.” Believe that you can succeed, and you’ll find ways through different obstacles. If you don’t, you’ll just find excuses.

    5. Have a vision. 

    The founder and CEO of Tumblr, David Karp, notes that an entrepreneur is someone who has a vision for something and a desire to create it. Keep your vision clear at all times.

    6. Find good people. 

    Who you’re with is who you become. Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, noted that the fastest way to change yourself is to hang out with people who are already the way you want to be.

    7. Face your fears. 

    Overcoming fear isn’t easy, but it must be done. Arianna Huffington once said that she found fearlessness was like a muscle -- the more she exercised it, the stronger it became.

    8. Take action. 

    The world is full of great ideas, but success only comes through action. Walt Disney once said that the easiest way to get started is to quit talking and start doing. That’s true for your success as well.

    9. Do the time. 

    No one succeeds immediately, and everyone was once a beginner. As Steve Jobs wisely noted, “if you look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” Don’t be afraid to invest time in your company.

    10. Manage energy, not time.

    Your energy limits what you can do with your time, so manage it wisely.

    11. Build a great team. 

    No one succeeds in business alone, and those who try will lose to a great team every time. Build your own great team to bolster your success.

    12. Hire character. 

    As you build your team, hire for character and values. You can always train someone on skills, but you can’t make someone’s values fit your company after the fact.

    Related: 7 Reasons Rock Star Entrepreneurs Hit Home Run After Home Run

    13. Plan for raising capital.

    Richard Harroch, a venture capitalist, has this advice for upcoming entrepreneurs: “It’s almost always harder to raise capital than you thought it would be, and it always takes longer. So plan for that.”

    14. Know your goals. 

    Ryan Allis, co-founder of iContact, pointed out that having the end in mind every day ensures you’re working toward it. Set goals and remind yourself of them each day.

    15. Learn from mistakes. 

    Many entrepreneurs point to mistakes as being their best teacher. When you learn from your mistakes, you move closer to success -- even though you initially failed.

    16. Know your customer. 

    Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s, cited knowing your customer as one of his three keys to success. Know those you serve better than anyone else, and you’ll be able to deliver the solutions they need.

    17. Learn from complaints. 

    Bill Gates once said that your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. Let unhappy customers teach you where the holes in your service are.

    18. Ask for customers’ input. 

    Assuming what customers want or need will never lead to success. You must ask them directly, and then carefully listen to what they say.

    19. Spend wisely. 

    When you spend money on your business, be careful to spend it wisely. It’s easy to spend too much on foolish things and run out of capital too soon.

    20. Understand your industry. 

    Tony Hsieh, the founder of Zappos, once said, “Don’t play games you don’t understand, even if you see lots of other people making money from them.” Truly understanding your industry is key to having success.

    21. Deliver more than expected.

    Google's Larry Page encourages entrepreneurs to deliver more than customers expect. It’s a great way to get noticed in your industry and build a loyal following of advocates.

    Being a successful entrepreneur takes a lot of work, a lot of vision and a lot of perseverance. These 21 tips, from entrepreneurs who have already found success, will help you navigate the path much more easily.

     

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  • Law of Attraction

    “Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
    Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviours.
    Keep your behaviours positive, because your behaviours become your habits.
    Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.
    Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.”
    ~Gandhi

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  • Quote of the day

    Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

    Dale Carnegie

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  • Quote of the day

    So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

    Christopher Reeve.

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